3)Life is proceeding from you, not happening to you?

Dear Carol,
I think there are real pitfalls in this belief system.
I am in a position where I see some really awful things happen to some very undeserving people. The other side of the coin in this is that people 'choose' their reactions.

For example, from time to time I work with women who have experienced the death of a baby. Many people will tell them they a re grieving too long, that they should buck up so to speak. I do not think these people are 'choosing' to feel how they do. And for someone to imply that they are 'choosing' to be debilitated by grief would just add to the tragedy they have endured. I think we do most of the time have a choice about our actions, but our feelings are often I believe out of our control.

#2. Yes, you can. The Guru did us in with that one. And I think logical thought with a bright light on the facts is the best way out.

# 3 is really hard. What does that mean? that we create our destinies? That when you lose a child that it proceeding from you?
I really think that bad things, tragic things, can happen to people who have done nothing to deserve them.

I think we can choose when handed tragedy in life to make something meaningful come from it. It is a positvie way of coping. When a survivor starts a support group or an educational program to help others that is a healthy response and many find comfort in that in that their own pain or loss can result in good for another. But I do not think that tragedy and life's painful experiences strike only those that deserve them or are somehow spiritually unevolved.
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