Ex-Premie.Org

Forum III Archive # 23

From: Aug 26, 1998

To: Sep 22, 1998

Page: 5 Of: 5



Gail -:- New Nectar Technique -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 15:38:52 (EDT)
__Mike -:- Better -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 15:49:23 (EDT)
__JW -:- New Nectar Technique -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:18:20 (EDT)
____Gail -:- 8 Minutes to Happiness -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 21:25:48 (EDT)
______Mickey the Pharisee -:- 8 Minutes to Happiness -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 02:33:54 (EDT)
__Nigel -:- The day I found nectar. -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:58:11 (EDT)
____x -:- say it isn't so -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 22:36:18 (EDT)
______nige -:- say it isn't so -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 23:04:57 (EDT)
______eb -:- say it isn't so -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 01:16:55 (EDT)
______JW -:- 'fraid so -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 19:36:38 (EDT)
________Judith -:- 'fraid so - to JW -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 00:53:45 (EDT)
__________JW -:- 'fraid so - to JW -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 13:01:17 (EDT)
____Selene -:- The day I found nectar. -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 00:45:32 (EDT)
______TD -:- Nectar/tongue scrapers -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 02:18:18 (EDT)
______VP -:- The day I found nectar. -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 13:23:17 (EDT)
________Selene -:- teasing the pineal gland -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 13:53:28 (EDT)
________Mike -:- The day I found what? -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 14:58:28 (EDT)
____Judith -:- The day I found nectar.-to Nig -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 23:58:27 (EDT)
______Mickey the Pharisee -:- The day I found nectar.-to Nig -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 02:31:07 (EDT)
______Nigel -:- Pineal & Hypothalamus -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 03:06:33 (EDT)
________Sir David -:- Oral sex -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 08:24:41 (EDT)
__________Mike -:- Brain sex -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 10:18:46 (EDT)
__________eb -:- Now that you mention it, -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 17:23:22 (EDT)
____________Sir David -:- Straight sex -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 21:01:12 (EDT)
______________Mike -:- Straight sex -:- Sun, Aug 30, 1998 at 13:38:11 (EDT)

PDF1 -:- what a scoop! -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 14:11:18 (EDT)

Becky -:- Bye bye for now (sniff!) -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 08:53:56 (EDT)
__VP -:- Bye bye for now (sniff!) -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 12:45:48 (EDT)
____Becky -:- Inner da-de-da etc. -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 13:45:10 (EDT)
____Jerry -:- Trees in the woods -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:24:28 (EDT)
______Mike -:- Trees in the woods -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:49:51 (EDT)
________Judith -:- Trees in the woods -:- Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 00:33:51 (EDT)

Gail -:- Don't abandon the ship -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:19:21 (EDT)
__Becky -:- Don't abandon the ship -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 08:57:26 (EDT)

Rick -:- Guess Who's Coming To Dinner -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 19:27:29 (EDT)
__Scott T. -:- Guess Who's Coming To Dinner -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 19:40:53 (EDT)
__Mike -:- Guess Who's Coming To Dinner -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 19:43:46 (EDT)
__Scott T. -:- Too convenient, by far... -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:01:49 (EDT)
____Rick -:- Too convenient, by far... -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:34:15 (EDT)
______Scott T. -:- I see, Katie did. -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:41:11 (EDT)
______Scott T. -:- BTW, didn't they visit JW too? -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:55:22 (EDT)
________Rick -:- BTW, didn't they visit JW too? -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:38:24 (EDT)
__________Scott T. -:- BTW, didn't they visit JW too? -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:42:53 (EDT)
____________Rick -:- BTW, didn't they visit JW too? -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:59:37 (EDT)
______________Scott T. -:- BTW, didn't they visit JW too? -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:13:56 (EDT)
________________Rick -:- BTW, didn't they visit JW too? -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:24:04 (EDT)
__________________Scott T. -:- You didn't answer my question. -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:37:27 (EDT)
____________________JW -:- Don't Be Such A Nose -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 01:38:55 (EDT)
______________________Scott T. -:- To pick or not to pick -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 02:00:39 (EDT)
________________________JW -:- Momentous News -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 14:42:59 (EDT)
__________________________Scott T. -:- Momentous News -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:29:34 (EDT)
____________________________JW -:- Momentous News -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:38:47 (EDT)
______________________________Scott T. -:- Momentous News -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:51:18 (EDT)
______________________________eb -:- BM has the Practical Solution -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:04:34 (EDT)
________________________________Nigel -:- Maybe fru-fru is the practical -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 20:18:25 (EDT)
__________________________________eb -:- Maybe fru-fru is the practical -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 00:54:26 (EDT)
________________________________Scott T. -:- BM has the Practical Solution -:- Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 09:44:40 (EDT)
______Mickey the Pharisee -:- Too convenient, by far... -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:05:23 (EDT)
________Scott T. -:- A likely story -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:55:58 (EDT)
__Scott T. -:- Well, Michael confirms it! -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:17:10 (EDT)
____Gail -:- Will the real Maharaji please -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:32:06 (EDT)
______Scott T. -:- Let's vote first -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:43:17 (EDT)
________VP -:- Let's vote first -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:54:15 (EDT)
__________G's mom -:- Let's vote first -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:02:45 (EDT)
__________Scott T. -:- Let's vote first -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:05:13 (EDT)
____________Gail -:- Ha Ha -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:13:20 (EDT)
______Rick -:- Will the real Maharaji please -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:51:46 (EDT)
__VP -:- Guess Who's Coming To Dinner -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:41:07 (EDT)
__Gail -:- Do you swear to tell the truth -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:09:30 (EDT)
____Gail you are -:- making me look bad!! -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:19:03 (EDT)
______Gail -:- When it comes to stuff -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:22:53 (EDT)
____Rick -:- Do you swear to tell the truth -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:07:00 (EDT)
______Mike -:- Porky? -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 10:53:33 (EDT)
__eb -:- Mickey's Divinity -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:30:58 (EDT)
____Guru Mariachi -:- Mickey's Divinity -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:49:17 (EDT)
______eb -:- Mickey's Divinity -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:28:06 (EDT)
________Guru Mariachi -:- Mickey's Divinity -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:36:25 (EDT)
______Robyn -:- Mickey's Divinity -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 17:08:57 (EDT)
__VP -:- A hole in the fable -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:02:21 (EDT)
____Rick -:- A hole in the fable -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:12:15 (EDT)
__Scott T. -:- Thanks for the silliness. -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:13:07 (EDT)
____Jerry -:- Thanks for the silliness. -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 09:20:16 (EDT)
____Mike -:- Thanks for the silliness. -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 11:11:00 (EDT)
______Jerry -:- Thanks for the silliness. -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 12:51:34 (EDT)
________Mike -:- Jim's PC -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 13:36:17 (EDT)
__JW -:- K&P Visit -- Rick and Jim -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:27:55 (EDT)
____VP -:- JW, tell Katie she is naughty -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:00:45 (EDT)
____Jim -:- K&P Visit -- Rick and Jim -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:43:17 (EDT)
__Nigel -:- Own up Mickey... -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 20:52:12 (EDT)
____Selene -:- Own up Mickey... yes, thanks! -:- Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 22:00:41 (EDT)

Brian -:- Uh... HUH?? -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 07:29:34 (EDT)
__Selene -:- Uh... HUH?? -:- Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 15:50:10 (EDT)


Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 15:38:52 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: New Nectar Technique
Message:
You no longer have to stretch your tongue up to your brain. Now you can lift it straight up and rest it on the roof of your mouth. This is the way the ancient Chinese technique for integrating both brain hemispheres and releasing endorphines is done (according to the book entitled EIGHT MINUTES TO HAPPINESS).

He keeps changing the knowledge techniques. It sounds to me like MJ is having a few brain farts of his own.

This latest curve was mandated in Atlantic City, July 16, 1998.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 15:49:23 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: Better
Message:
Gail, I've found a better nectar technique. Just stick your tongue into a bag of turbinado sugar. Guaranteed sweet and it works the first time you do it. Are you smiling right now? See... it works. :-)
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:18:20 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: New Nectar Technique
Message:
Gail, did you hear that Maharaji presented this in a knowledge review? And isn't 'nectar technique' called something else now, like 'number 4?'

This is so bizarre. I remember trying so hard to stretch that tendon under my tongue, day after day, month afer month, so I could do the technique right. I considered cutting the tendon with a razor blade and I know other premies who did. That was a bit of a mess.

I used to use one of those Indian, metal, 'tongue scrapers' and I used to scrape the sharp edge of it against the tendon, every day, to try and get it to break or stretch. It didn't work, the tendon just got raw.

Man, I could have avoided all that, if I just knew this is all you had to do. My how things have changed.

Gail, do you think he has ANY idea what he's doing?
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 21:25:48 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: 8 Minutes to Happiness
Message:
I think he has recently read this book and decided to call the author's techniques his own.

Actually, I think he knows exactly what he's doing. He's modifying the game plan once again to suit the very busy, brighter-than-average, richer-than-average quasi-devotees. He knows his audience.

E.G.

THE OLD DAYS:

Meditate and sing arti in the morning. (1.3 hours)

Wave your plate over your head and say grace to the Lord for your meal (2 minutes X 3).

Attend satsang daily from 19:30 to 21:30 + Arti until 21:50. Lurk around the satsang hall afterwards for about 15 minutes. Travel time if you are not an ashramie. (3 hours 15 minutes)

Meditate in the evening. (1 hour)

Walk around like a dork every waking moment concentrating on your breath and stuffing your tongue back so that you looked like you had no neck. (?????)

Give 10% of your income or all of it and do service as much as possible.

MJ is the LORD OF THE UNIVERSE.

Hindi jargon.

THIS LOOKS LIKE A 24-HOUR A DAY COMMITTMENT TO ME.

THESE DAYS:

Meditate once a day minimum (more if you have time) (1 hour)

Attend videos 2 or 3 times per week (1 hour X 3)

Do not meditate while walking around.

Give what you can in the way of donations and do what you can.

MJ is a really cool guy.

No jargon. No speaking (it suits those who are burnt out from a demanding career).

THESE MODIFICATIONS GIVE PEOPLE MORE BREATHING ROOM. THEY ARE LESS LIKELY TO BECOME TURNED OFF THAN WHEN THE ZEALOT APPROACH WAS USED.
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 02:33:54 (EDT)
From: Mickey the Pharisee
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: 8 Minutes to Happiness
Message:
More breathing room, ha ha ha, get it? more breathing room, ha ha ha.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:58:11 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Gail
Subject: The day I found nectar.
Message:
Gail, I love you.

oops, I hope that mightn't be misconstrued as harrassment or something, sorry. ;-) - but cool post, anyway.

Nectar is the only technique I still do. Probably because I discovered it when I was twelve years old. I was sitting in Taffy Owens' RI lesson (Religious Instruction before it became Religious Education and then Comparative Religion) and I was bored right off my trolley.

Taffy Owens was an elderly Welsh alcoholic who used to suck peppermints to hide the smell and when he was roaring drunk would come in and slump behind the teacher's desk and mutter something like 'Get on with some mmblenrrgh... work'. Then he would raise the lid of his briefcase, now placed in front of him on the desk, so he could quietly pick his nose behind it without being seen.

Anyway, he wasn't always drunk. Sometimes he gave the odd lesson about the 'Fertile Crescent', with maps, which is something that used to happen in middle-eastern geography apparently and had something to do with Moses or Abraham, too, so it must have been educational, or - at the very least - religious.

So there I was watching the clock and just for fun seeing how far up into my brain I could stick my tongue - like children do if they're bored enough. I found you could flip it up behind the dangly thing and rest it on the back of your palette, just like premies do when practising their 'precious gift' of nectar. (You can also make the tip of your tongue touch the bulbous boney promontary on the roof of the passage between mouth and nasal cavity, but it tastes a bit snotty and I'm not sure whether that's what ambrosia's all about.) Unfortunately, it was hard to do this manoevre without opening my mouth so it looked like I was yawning, and next thing I know, Taffy Owens is saying 'So, bored are we, Bishop Longhurst? (He called me Bishop Longhurst because my family went to church). He always persecuted the believers among us for some reason.

Had I but known, I could have said 'Sorry sir, I've just been to Heaven'.

Anyway, I still do the so-called nectar trick whenever I feel like it because I discovered it first , so Maharaj Ji can just fuck off and die.

(metaphorically speaking)

Taffy: wherever you aren't, I raise my glass....

But Gail, what's happiness (in eight minutes or otherwise) got to do with it? It thought the upward tongue prod was just something you could do when you're not doing anything else. Have I missed out on something?

Cheers,
Nigel
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 22:36:18 (EDT)
From: x
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: say it isn't so
Message:
Jw,
Are you serious? You know people who cut their tongues? You considered it? Now I'm really disturbed! Who's idea was this? Did anyone wind up in the emergency room of the local hospital? What other wacky things did you guys do? Tell me you're kidding.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 23:04:57 (EDT)
From: nige
Email: None
To: x
Subject: say it isn't so
Message:
x:

I won't answer for Joe, but it is still common practise for some Indian holy men to do all sorts to their tongues besides hacking away at the roots. Some will sever them vertically through the middle from front to back so that they can stick the two pieces out through their mouths and up into their nostrils.

(I kid you not)
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 01:16:55 (EDT)
From: eb
Email: None
To: x
Subject: say it isn't so
Message:
Dear x,
I've got a weird one for you. When I was born, I couldn't suck because that skin reached to the end of my tongue in the front. So I was really young when they clipped it back (maybe a bit like a circumcision).

Well, when I got knowledge, I thought I was blessed to have had my tongue released at birth. Really, I theorized that it was some kind of sign that God was readying me to be able to practice nectar.

I used to funnel everything through the filter of knowledge.

eb
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 19:36:38 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: x
Subject: 'fraid so
Message:
I do recall some premies who cut the tendon under their tongues. For one at least, it was a bloody mess.

The mahatmas used to say that if you just practiced enough the tendon would eventually stretch enough so you could do the technique. They also suggested (I kid you not) grabbing your tongue with both hands and pull it out of your mouth to stretch it, and also to pull your tongue back and forth so that the tendon rubbed over your lower teeth. This was supposed to weaken the tendon too.

This was all so you could do the technique correctly, which was to stick your tongue back down your throat, and then push it up in your nasal passage, so you could experience the joyful ecstacy of nasal drip.

I never was able to do the technique the way you were supposed to, despite trying very hard for years. I was SO conditioned, that, to this day, I still find myself doing the technique, sometimes when I am driving.

Premies looked so ridiculous doing the nectar technique while walking around. If you watch the Lord of the Universe video, you see a lot of premies whose cheeks look a little puffed, like they have the mumps, because they are dong nectar technique.
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 00:53:45 (EDT)
From: Judith
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: 'fraid so - to JW
Message:
JW I am determined to understand this. Are you saying you swallowed your tongue? For one thing, I always remember the old wives tale about people having epileptic fits was to put a spoon or whatever under their tongue to stop them swallowing it. I assumed that swallowing your tongue would choke you. I mean, what if it got stuck in your nasal passage? Truly - I am amazed. Please reply.
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 13:01:17 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Judith
Subject: 'fraid so - to JW
Message:
No, I wouldn't say it was 'swallowing' the tongue, it was just to stick it back to the throat and the up into the nasal passage. It's kind of hard to explain, but since I was never able to do it anyway, it didn't much matter.
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 00:45:32 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: The day I found nectar.
Message:
Supposedly the endorphines are released in this bizarre practice because the pineal gland is stimulated, or that is one explanation I was given anyway.
Reminds me of that weird HP Lovecraft adaptation movie called
'From Beyond' where they stimulated their pineal glands and all kinds of hell broke loose as a result.

Selene - in a movie kind of mood
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 02:18:18 (EDT)
From: TD
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: Nectar/tongue scrapers
Message:
After I received K, my partner asked me if I had any problem with No.4/Nectar. I told him no, as my tongue has always been able to do amusing acrobatic things, like touch my nose etc etc. That's when he told me about the premies who would cut the base of their tongues. Freaky. He also had one of those dinky little tongue-scrapers too JW. I used to watch him do it over the sink. Beats watching someone shave....

Wasn't it established back in the archives that the nectar position being the position we have as a babe in the womb is total horseshit?

Regards, TD
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 13:23:17 (EDT)
From: VP
Email: None
To: Selene/Nigel
Subject: The day I found nectar.
Message:
Great post, Nigel. Very funny.

Selene,

I thought that the pineal gland was stimulated during the light technique...shows what I know. Isn't that gland back in your brain? How can the tongue stimulate it? Just curious.

I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose, but I cannot for the life of me get it to go into the back of my nasal passage without gagging. It also hurts where it is connected to the bottom of my mouth.

I can't believe we are discussing this.
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 13:53:28 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: teasing the pineal gland
Message:
Hell don't ask me VP. I may not be remembering correctly anyway.
But the monsters in From Beyond do bear a resemblence to some I have been graced to be 'in the presence' of in the 'WOK', come to think of it.
Better watch that pineal stimulation :)
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 14:58:28 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: The day I found what?
Message:
VP: Come on, don't you remember? You put your tongue up thru the top of your nasal passage, thru that pesky little membrane, then between the 'folds' in you brain, to stimulate the walnut-sized little gland that is towards your frontal lobe. Simple, no? Weren't you taught this technique, correctly?
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 23:58:27 (EDT)
From: Judith
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: The day I found nectar.-to Nig
Message:
I found you could flip it up behind the dangly thing and rest it on the back of your palette, just like premies do when practising their 'precious gift' of nectar. (You can also make the tip of your tongue touch the bulbous boney promontary on the roof of the passage between mouth and nasal cavity, but it tastes a bit snotty and I'm not sure whether that's what ambrosia's all about.)

Nigel I'm intrigued by this description and I must be a total idio but I can't do it. My tongue doesn't touch the end of my nose, maybe that's the problem. But what do you mean by the 'dangly thing'. I just really want to know how you guys were taught the technique. I only learnt it as rolling your tongue up to rest against the roof of your mouth.

Out of interest(?), this particular technique was even mentioned in an 80's book 'Your Body Doesn't Lie' where a Dr John Diamond tested the body energy and found it was increased by wearing natural fibres and by practices such as the above. He too said it stimulated something like the pineal gland. Some gland anyway. There is supposedly another centre on your breastbone. I think he called it the Hypothalamus? More rubbish to add to this thread, anyway.
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 02:31:07 (EDT)
From: Mickey the Pharisee
Email: None
To: Judith
Subject: The day I found nectar.-to Nig
Message:
Judith, the dangly thing is your uvula. It'll behoove ya to care for your uvula!
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 03:06:33 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Judith and everyone
Subject: Pineal & Hypothalamus
Message:
Hi Judith and all,

The dangly bit is the uvula. We were told to start by practising curling the tongue back, resting it on the roof of the mouth. When it has suppled up a bit you were supposed to slip it behind the uvula and up and forward into the back of the nasal cavity. I could do this already, though not for long, but after some practice I found the tongue would just stay up there, and it felt very comfortable up there. Like JW, I still do this when driving, for some reason. Seems to help the concentration, but I doubt there's any physiological benefit.

Re. the pineal being the 'seat of the soul' or whatever is just a myth going back to the days when nobody knew what it was there for. I'm pretty sure it was Descartes who said it was the place where the non-material mind interfaced with the physical body. (He must have been guessing). Nowadays it's well-known that the pineal does have a function in regulating the body in response to seasonal changes in daylight, by secreting the chemical (melatonin) that encourages mammals to hibernate at the right time, etc.

I'm not sure whether I'm thinking of the same John Diamond, but he was BBC journalist rather than scientist by trade. I'd like to know what he meant by 'body energy'.

The hypothamalus sits at the top of the brain stem in our primitive 'reptile' brain and is heavily involved in the 'four 'f's': feeding, fleeing, fighting and copulation. So nothing terribly spiritual about that one either. (Unless maybe the tongue is supposed to suppress its natural functions or something by being in the general vicinty? - sounds unlikely, IMHO)
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 08:24:41 (EDT)
From: Sir David
Email: David.Studio57@btinternet.com
To: Nigel
Subject: Oral sex
Message:
Isn't nectar like having oral sex with yourself? Back in the seventies I did try to cut the tendon under my tongue with a razor blade. Hack, scream, hack, scream, hack, scream - oh the things I did for Maharaji. I was alone in the shram and when everybody came back from selling Divine Times, I was dripping blood all over the place. It was a mess!

No, the hacking method doesn't work. That little tendon is a very durable little thing and although I cut through most of it, it wouldn't break. Much later, after it had healed up, I finally got the nectar technique accomplished by just keeping the tongue gently folded back all the time and it then stretched after a week or so.

I've never got my tongue into my brain! Surely that's impossible. I have do say that for me, the nectar technique does produce a result although I've yet to understand what's happening. There is a definite change in awarness when I do it and it can make me high like a drug. It also sometimes gives me rushes of pleasure, something akin to ... well I don't know what! It's like, you know, you know, it's not the words, you know, kind of like, this knowledge is beyond words, well I don't know, you know, (titter) it's just his grace is so, you know, amazing, like wow Maharaji etc etc etc.

But anyway, I'd really appreciate and value any medical explaination of what can happen when the nectar technique is practised. It beats me what's happening.
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 10:18:46 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Sir David
Subject: Brain sex
Message:
Sir: The technique, as I described it, was a JOKE! NO NO NO, don't try this at home kids. Just think of how long your tongue would have to be to perform what I said, then LAUGH damn it! he he he. :-)
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 17:23:22 (EDT)
From: eb
Email: None
To: Sir David
Subject: Now that you mention it,
Message:
I always thought that Holy Name was very much like sex--in and out, in and out. God making love to me through my breath. I'd even have brain orgasms--honest!

O how gullible I was as a teen. My boyfriend convinced me that I could have a spiritual experience by giving him oral sex. Ever since then, I've astral projected myself into 7th heaven numerous times. Never was into cigars, though.

Memories are sometimes best forgotten, eh?
eb
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 21:01:12 (EDT)
From: Sir David
Email: David.Studio57@btinternet.com
To: eb
Subject: Straight sex
Message:
A good technique for guys wanting to prolong their performance is to 'remember the word' or breath while they're doing it. I've found it works. Another technique is to think of something totally unsexy such as Sir Winston Churchill (John Lennon's advice) Barbara Bush or perhaps a certain guru?

I've also experimented doing the full nectar technique while in amourous indulgence with good effect although it does make French kissing a little difficult, nay impossible.

The most revolting nectar story I heard was from a premie who told me that Maharaji took a sweet out of his mouth and gave it to a premie who then claimed to be filled with his divine nectar when she sucked on this second-hand morsel. EB, you were the sort of girl guys dream about.
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Date: Sun, Aug 30, 1998 at 13:38:11 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Sir David
Subject: Straight sex
Message:
Sir: NOW you've become toooooo graphic..... That nectar story goes well beyond 'revolting.' he he he. I'm sitting here physically shuddering from that 'image.' It reminds me of the 'holy excrement' stories.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 14:11:18 (EDT)
From: PDF1
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: what a scoop!
Message:
Maharaji = Mickey the Pharisee!
this is fun! i guess he does have a sense of humour...
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 08:53:56 (EDT)
From: Becky
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: Bye bye for now (sniff!)
Message:
I'm leaving my job and won't have access here for a while. so thanks everyone, you've been great. Really, I couldn't have done it without you. No really, I mean it. What can I say? One door closes another door opens. This isn't the end, it's just a new beginning.
Seriously though, I'll be back for more fun and games in the future INSHA'ALLAH.
By the way - I've been reading about Structuralism and Semiotics. Structuralism actually challenges one of Maharaji's fundamental tenets: the belief that what is real is what is 'experienced'. 'Structuralism is a modern inheritor of the belief that reality and our experience of it, are discontinuous to each other'. (Terry Eagleton -Introduction to Literary Theory page 108). While I don't necessary subscribe to Structuralism, reading that bit certainly made me realise how so much of what maharaji teaches is based on certain assumptions of HOW THINGS ARE.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 12:45:48 (EDT)
From: VP
Email: None
To: Becky
Subject: Bye bye for now (sniff!)
Message:
one of Maharaji's fundamental tenets: the belief that what is real is what is 'experienced'

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to 'experience'-oops, I meant 'hear' it, does it still make a sound???

See you later, Becky :)VP
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 13:45:10 (EDT)
From: Becky
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: Inner da-de-da etc.
Message:
Right VP. I was kind of referring to Maharaji's talking about experiencing inner reality. Or was I? There is such a fine line. Whatever the case, he certainly managed to make me feel 'O MY GOD! I'M IN DREAM! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REAL,AND I WON'T UNTIL I GET KNOWLEDGE!'
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:24:28 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: Trees in the woods
Message:
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to 'experience'-oops, I meant 'hear' it, does it still make a sound???

I'm not sure you really want an answer to this ancient riddle but just for fun's sake, here's mine. Nobody knows. How could they? Nobody was there. Here's another one for you. If God can do anything, can He ceate a rock which He Himself cannot lift?
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:49:51 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: Trees in the woods
Message:
Jerry: You know what the sound of one hand clapping is, don't you? (as I 'clap' your face with one hand....he he he...only kidding; no physical violence allowed)
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Date: Sat, Aug 29, 1998 at 00:33:51 (EDT)
From: Judith
Email: None
To: Mike
Subject: Trees in the woods
Message:
I forget where I read this but an answer to that riddle is that there is no such thing as one hand clapping; in other words you are meant to see by that riddle that god is always clapping back.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:19:21 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: Don't abandon the ship
Message:
I was talking to a premie this evening. He stated that his level of committment at the time of receiving K was:

I told my aunt, 'Even if I discover that I have taken the wrong ship out to sea, I will not abandon her.'

This sounds a lot like the ladu satsang MJ kept giving ....

A man is returning home and realizes that he has forgotten to buy his wife ladus (Indian dessert). He decides to pick up camel dung and roll the stuff into balls and coat them with sugar. They look just like ladus.

The wife eats them even though they taste like sh-t because they are a present from her husband.

MJ's moral of the story was that we often keep going in a no-win situation because we think we are doing the right thing. Truer words were never spoken when it comes to his ship of malcontents.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 08:57:26 (EDT)
From: Becky
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: Don't abandon the ship
Message:
I heard that story at Wembley in June.
Another ironic thing Maharaji said to his rapt audience was 'Don't let anyone tell you what to think or what to feel'.
Afterwards my dumb premie friends were saying excitedly to each other 'Oh yeah, and that bit where he says 'don't let anyone tell you what to think or what to feel' is so right.'
I could not be bothered to challenge their stupidity.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 19:27:29 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Everyone
Subject: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Message:
As you may have noticed, Katie's been on vacation (she and Peter are touring the West Coast U.S.). As they came through California, they stopped by for dinner and a great evening of reminiscing about the pudgy fat Guru. We also discussed politics, religion and our experiences growing up, and even got a chance to dis Jim, the guy who runs this Forum.

I forced them to eat vegan food and look at the local New Age sights--Katie said she got the 'heebie jeebies' and Peter, bless his heart, didn't recognize the universal symbol of Om that originated in the East. What Peter lacked in New Age resonance, he made up for in intelligence, warmth and great political views (meaning he agrees with me).

At one point, we were all standing in an organic garden when a thirtiesh New Age fanatic tried to join our conversation. It was obvious he was 'hitting on' Katie, which she found amusing because her husband, Peter, was standing right there. Katie wasn't very responsive and the nutcase started chanting and talking to himself as he walked away. But as you might guess, Katie had it all... personality, charm and the ability to be disarming while ferriting out all sorts of personal details I'd never normally consider revealing.

Just when I was relaxing into the really comfortable part of the evening, Katie asked me if I knew who Mickey the Pharisee is, the guy who posts on this forum. I told her that yes, of course I know who he is. Katie gets this big old shit-eating grin and starts shaking her head, back and forth. Dumbfounded, I urge her to please tell me what she's talking about.

So Katie launches into a story about Bill Burke, and how Bill used to think that Doc (and various other posters) were maharaji himself, lurking and posting on this site. She said she'd always thought Bill was crazy about this stuff, but that just two nights earlier she'd had the shock of her life.

When she and Peter arrived at a restaurant in Berkeley, California, to meet 'Mickey the Pharisee' for dinner, there was a limousine parked out front. And as they walked from the parking lot to enter the restaurant one of the windows in the limousine started rolling down. They just casually glanced in curiosity and who else did they see but Maharaji...

At this point I'm sure that Katie's pulling my chain, big time, and I'm smirking. But when I look over at Peter, he's got a dead serious look on his face, and he's nodding yes. Peter's the kind of guy you could trust with your life savings after knowing him for two hours. So now I'm sitting there totally astonished.

Katie goes on to say that at first they thought it was just some bizarre coincidence, but that maharaji leaned out the window and motioned for them to come to the vehicle. When they approached maharaji said, 'I'm Mickey.'

Katie said that her jaw dropped and that she was paralyzed with nervousness. Peter said he was barely impressed with maharaji's small portly image contrasting with the big limousine.

Maharaji then said that although he wouldn't actually be joining them for dinner, that he'd already paid the tab, and that they should go in and enjoy themselves. Then he said, 'The reason I didn't tell you who I was, was because I thought you wouldn't show up, and I just wanted everyone who posts on the Forum to know that I don't have any hard feelings, and that they're welcome to return anytime.' Apparently, maharaji knew who Katie and Peter were because they'd sent a photo in email before they left for California.

So, totally bewildered and unable to say much, Katie and Peter start to walk towards the restaurant. But before they get to the door, they hear maharaji call out from the limousine--he says 'One last thing...'. Katie and Peter take a few steps returning towards the limo. Maharaji continues, 'Have you ever noticed how moths are able to get into those glass lamp covers that cover the lights on ceilings?' Katie and Peter are just staring blankly at this point. So maharaji says, 'Well, I know how they do that. And if you want to know the truth, when you know that, you can do almost anything. Even get into a car you've locked the keys in, without breaking any windows or using a slim jim, or calling AAA.' Then the window of the limo rolled up, and Katie and Peter walked into the restaurant. Katie said Peter was just shaking his head slowly, all night, and finally said, 'I'm glad you got out of that cult'.

I tried for the rest of the night to get Katie to admit this was just a gag, but she wouldn't budge. And judging from her demeanor, she seeemed to be telling the truth. She asked me if I'd post their story, as they wouldn't be returning home for another week.
Rick
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 19:40:53 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Message:
Rick:

This calls for an effort to compile the collected works of Mickey the Pharisee. What I want to know is, why didn't he go ahead and have dinner with them? Thanks for the bombshell.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 19:43:46 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Message:
Rick: That is either the biggest whopper I've ever heard, told by a MASTER yarn-spinner, or the strangest story I've ever heard. BAR NONE!
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:01:49 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Too convenient, by far...
Message:
Rick:

This is all too convenient, that the source of the story, or the witness, can't get access to either confirm or deny. I smell... a fish in the milk.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:34:15 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Too convenient, by far...
Message:
Now you got me thinking. Katie did actually pull a little prank while she was here. When I made them dinner, I put the pasta in three bowls... two were black and one was opaque. I put one of the black bowls at my place setting, and one at Peter's, and I put the opaque bowl at Katie's place setting. Then Peter got up to use the bathroom, and I went into the kitchen to get salt, pepper, etc. When I came back, Peter was just coming back from the bathroom, but the opaque bowl (which had less sauteed mushrooms) was now at Peter's place setting, and the black one was in front of Katie. I really did a double-take but I couldn't really say anything, so I assumed I'd had it wrong, and that everything was where I had put it originally. Now I'm really wondering.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:41:11 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: I see, Katie did.
Message:
Rick:

You've got me wondering too. Two black and one opaque. Clearly an asymmetrical arrangement that would be an irresistible lure to someone as devious as Katie.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 20:55:22 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: BTW, didn't they visit JW too?
Message:
Rick:

I think we may have you here, buddy. As I recall Katie and Peter intended to drop in on JW as well. Wonder why Joe never mentioned that Fr. Mike was more than a simple padre? Seems like that would have been more interesting that arguing about the Middle East.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:38:24 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: BTW, didn't they visit JW too?
Message:
Good question. They may have visited 'Mickey' after the saw JW.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:42:53 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: BTW, didn't they visit JW too?
Message:
Rick:

They may have visited 'Mickey' after the saw JW.

I see. They went to San Francisco, then San Diego then Washington State? My, they are a busy couple bouncing all over the place.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:59:37 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: BTW, didn't they visit JW too?
Message:
They aren't going to San Diego. That's not on itinerary. Mickey doesn't live in San Diego.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:13:56 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: BTW, didn't they visit JW too?
Message:
Rick:

Sorry, Michael lives in (well, not sure it's OK to say, but not far from S.F.). I wonder why Katie and Peter wouldn't call Joe with news like that, since they were almost next door to him? I mean, I guess they must have just been so shocked. Yeah... that's it. Nice of you to keep this little distraction up. I still loved the moth story though. How DO they get in there?

-Scott
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:24:04 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: BTW, didn't they visit JW too?
Message:
Seems that only maharaji really knows but there's only a couple of ways in--through the tiny space where the glass lamp is fitted over the light. Or through the small opening where the electrical wire runs through the building to the light socket (in that case, the moth would have to come from within the structure of the building). Peter contends, however, that the moths fly around the lamp but most of the bugs found in the lamp cover aren't moths, but other kinds of bugs. Go figure.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:37:27 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: You didn't answer my question.
Message:
Rick:

Very colorful theory about the bugs. John the Baptist ate bugs, did you know? Anyhow, my question was, why didn't Katie and Peter call Joe instead of waiting to tell you? They have visited Joe before, and know him well. And since CD met Mickey wouldn't he have to be in on it? But others have met CD (I know this to be a fact, squirt squirt) so CD and Mickey must be separate people unless all those who have known Chris Dickey for years are also in on it, so this begins to look like a vast conspiracy, or at least a collusion between M and CD. But, the big issue is how come Katie and Peter didn't tell Joe the big news? It's a puzzler, not unlike the moth parable.

-Scott
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 01:38:55 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Don't Be Such A Nose
Message:
Anyhow, my question was, why didn't Katie and Peter call Joe instead of waiting to tell you?

Scott, you presumptuous prig; how do you know they DIDN'T call me, and how do you know I wasn't there? It really is my choice if I want to share my darshan stories, you know. And it's really none of your business.

God, some people just utterly fail to discuss these things with anything approaching simple rationality. I give up.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 02:00:39 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: To pick or not to pick
Message:
Joe:

I never said anything about what you ought to do. It is something of a mystery as to why you haven't shared this momentous news with the rest of us mortals. Guess you think discussing the middle east is more fun. Go figure.

-Scott
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 14:42:59 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Momentous News
Message:
What is 'momentous news' is a matter of opinion. Discussing the Middle East might not be more fun, but it IS more important.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:29:34 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: Momentous News
Message:
Joe:

Discussing the Middle East might not be more fun, but it IS more important.

I think you have me on this one.

-Scott
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:38:47 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Momentous News
Message:
I might not, Scott. I just realize that probably nobody really cares what you, Jim or I think about the middle east, especially here on the ex-premie forum.

It just occurred to me. Do you think Maharaji has an opinon on the middle east? I would just love to hear it. I'm sure it would solve all the problems there in no time. I'll bet he would say that solving the problems there is just like that Kabir story about the woman who lived in a tree and waited her whole life to give some cookies to the master. Yeah, right.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:51:18 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: Momentous News
Message:
Joe:

Do you think Maharaji has an opinon on the middle east? I would just love to hear it. I'm sure it would solve all the problems there in no time. I'll bet he would say that solving the problems there is just like that Kabir story about the woman who lived in a tree and waited her whole life to give some cookies to the master. Yeah, right.

Well, now I'm thinking he'd probably say it's like that moth that gets into the light fixture to live a life immersed in light and darkness, only to be fried in the end. How DO those moths get in there anyhow?

-Scott
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:04:34 (EDT)
From: eb
Email: None
To: JW and Scott T,
Subject: BM has the Practical Solution
Message:
Dear JW and Scott T.,

Remember the recording of BM laughing and laughing when he was asked: 'Guru Maharaj Ji, what do you think is the practical solution?'

After the long drawn out laughter (which I felt at the time clearly demonstrated his level of god realization), BM says, 'Happiness is the practical solution because when everyone becomes happy, that's it!'

The Guru Maharaj Ji I knew and loved would be over there in the Middle East right now teaching those terrorists how to become happy through eyeball poking. What's he thinking... They're gonna come to him? Sheesh!

I don't participate when you guys discuss politics or philosophy because I'm still trying to get through the Guru Papers so I can get into Dawkins. I'm way behind, but I try to read most of the posts. The discussions on this forum are relevant to me and remind me why I wound up with Maharaji in the first place. (I was attempting to find meaning and purpose in life--I've scaled down my expectations. I'm not looking for god anymore; if I can just make it through teaching my son how to drive this week, I'll be okay).

Love to all,
eb
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 20:18:25 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: eb
Subject: Maybe fru-fru is the practical
Message:
solution. Hope you got some, and had a good trip, eb.

Still don't know what it is, mind. :)
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 00:54:26 (EDT)
From: eb
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Maybe fru-fru is the practical
Message:
Good evening Nigel.

IMHO, fru-fru livens up the journey a bit. I like humour and theatre, but balanced with rational logic, you know. In addition, I attempt to remain in my body as much as possible.

How are you these days, Nigel. Doing well, I hope.
BTW, the wrinkle cream is working wonders.

Love your show,
eb
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Date: Fri, Aug 28, 1998 at 09:44:40 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: eb
Subject: BM has the Practical Solution
Message:
eb:

Good luck with your son. Learning to drive can be very traumatic for teacher and learner. I learned on a Willys WWII Jeep, vintage about 1940.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:05:23 (EDT)
From: Mickey the Pharisee
Email: mgdbach@ziplink.net
To: Rick
Subject: Too convenient, by far...
Message:
Sheesh, Rick, that's nothing; they came by here and we had a glass of wine and now I'm missing silver ware AND one of the golden swan faucets from my Lotus Bathroom! But they did mislead you; I am not Guru Maharaji, I am Guru Mariachi. I've come to bring la Paz to mankind. Give ME the reins of your life, and I'll say 'giddyup!' Other than that, they are a CHARMING couple.
Padre Michael+
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:55:58 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Mickey the Pharisee
Subject: A likely story
Message:
Michael:

Guru Mariachi indeed! Clearly, you are Howard Stern! Tell us about the subtleties of your famous instrument: 'bongo butts,' please. I've always loved traditional music, especially a good percussive rythmn.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:17:10 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Well, Michael confirms it!
Message:
Rick:

Just received following email from...

Scott,
Sheesh, I guess the jig is up; I just read Richard's post. Now everyone knows the truth. Well, chalk it up to Lila!
Yours in Christ,
The Reverend Father Michael Dresbach+, Pharisee

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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:32:06 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Will the real Maharaji please
Message:
stand up. Okay! What's the truth. Did MJ really meet Katie and her spouse in Berkley or not? I'm waiting with bated breath.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:43:17 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: Let's vote first
Message:
Gail:

Makes you look at Mickey's posts in a new light, doesn't it? If it's true then he's typically deceptive. If false, then Rick (or Katie??) owes us all explanation (especially Michael).

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:54:15 (EDT)
From: VP
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Let's vote first
Message:
You know, I even got a letter from Michael,er, Maharaji. I also got two cassette tapes. He didn't even charge me for them. (How can he be Maharaji? Giving something free? It makes no sense-snicker) Seriously, maybe I should take out an ad and sell that letter to the highest bidder...

I say, let's ask CD. They had drinks together, I believe.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:02:45 (EDT)
From: G's mom
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: Let's vote first
Message:
I don't think Mickey is the Guru...he seems too nice. Besides, would the gugu really make fun of how he jiggles in his mala getup?

But...what if someone were the guru? I vote for CD.....annoying, won't ever answer a question straight....or Red Heels?...nah the guru's mean streak expresses itself differently...melbourne....? Nah....

But I say x is Hansi....been trying forever to talk his mom out of the cult without success. Hansi keep trying okay!
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:05:13 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: Let's vote first
Message:
VP:

I say, let's ask CD. They had drinks together, I believe.

What makes you think CD and Michael couldn't inhabit the same body? Now, who else has had drinks with CD? Why... perhaps we are ALL MAHARAJI... HA HA HA HA HA AH A A A A AHHA X FX666 XDT%@@ #@#%% @5*()&^^

Sorry, thought I was onto something there.

-Scott
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:13:20 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Ha Ha
Message:
Dear Scottie:

I love your sense of humour. CD is MJ's devotee side. Mickey the Pee is his business personality.

Imagine, we can all go back and pick up the pieces in his divine grace.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:51:46 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: Will the real Maharaji please
Message:
Gail,
Katie said that she thought Mickey would be ex-premie like us, but that when she arrived at their agreed meeting place, maharaji was there, claiming that he was Mickey.
Rick
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 21:41:07 (EDT)
From: VP
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Message:
Hey, Rick

That was a good one. I don't know whether you cooked it up alone or in cahoots with Katie and Peter, but that was a really good one. One of the funniest stories I have read on the forum. Thanks to the author (whoever THAT may be :)

Like Maharaji would slum in a place Peter and Katie would hang out in-SHEESH!

You did get a couple of things right:

1)Katie had it all... personality, charm and the ability to be disarming while ferriting out all sorts of personal details I'd never normally consider revealing.

2). Peter's the kind of guy you could trust with your life savings after knowing him for two hours.

They ARE great, aren't they? I wish I had gotten to have a longer visit with them. Next time.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:09:30 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Do you swear to tell the truth
Message:
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth concerning this matter?
Are you shilling or is this story for real as far as you know?
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:19:03 (EDT)
From: Gail you are
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: making me look bad!!
Message:
Gail,
Up until your last post, I had the market of gullibility on the forum cornered. You have just moved in on my territory. Sheesh :)VP
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:22:53 (EDT)
From: Gail
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: When it comes to stuff
Message:
concerning the Guru, I will believe anything. Pigs can fly. I've seen them.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:07:00 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Gail
Subject: Do you swear to tell the truth
Message:
Gail,
Katie wanted me to relate the story I posted at the top of this thread. I was reluctant at first, but Katie really wanted me to post it. This is the truth. If the story is untrue then I am being hoodwinked along with the rest of ya. Personally, I'm not convinced it's beyond Katie to tell a little porky.
Rick
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 10:53:33 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Porky?
Message:
Rick: Porky? This Biggest Whopper I've ever heard, told by a MASTER yarn-spinner....we're not worthy....we're not worthy...he he he. Katie IS GOOD!
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:30:58 (EDT)
From: eb
Email: None
To: all
Subject: Mickey's Divinity
Message:
I knew it all along! O what love for us, the fallen, you have demonstrated by appearing in all your earthly glory to Katie and Peter.

Mickey, I wish to atone for my sins, for my doubts. Please forgive me and grant me your darshan. Might I kiss your feet? How 'bout a foot massage with my aromatherapy oils? I could mow your lawn if you like. O please let me back into your fold, kind shepherd. BTW, where should I send the check?

eb

P.S. I was kidding when I said that stuff about your being fat. You know what's in my heart of hearts, within inside, o great creator preserver destroyer. Ok, well maybe I meant it a little bit, but that was before my eyes were opened. Damn, I never was a good liar.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 22:49:17 (EDT)
From: Guru Mariachi
Email: mgdbach@ziplink.net
To: eb
Subject: Mickey's Divinity
Message:
Mi Amores,
It is I, Guru Mariachi. Now that my true nature has been revealed through the duplicity of Katie, Peter, and their little shill, Rick, I shall come clean.
Take my conocimiento and you will have peace, for my joke is punny and my burden is light. Give me the reins of your life and I will say 'giddy-up.' I come this time with so much power that I can run this Mac by placing the power cord in my Wholy Nether-region. These tears I am crying are not tears of sadness or tears of happiness; they are tears of pain since I stubbed my Lotus toe on that damn floorlight! You know, in one of my former incarnations, I said that 'the love of money is the root of all evil.' Give me your money and you will never have to worry about that evil. I send special love to Jim; send me all your gratitude, and you will head my Paz de Mundo Corps and keep everyone in line.
Santo Santo Santo, Gloria de Mariachi!!!
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:28:06 (EDT)
From: eb
Email: None
To: Guru Mariachi
Subject: Mickey's Divinity
Message:
Oh my Guru Mariachi,

I must thank you from the bottom of my heart for the best laugh I've had all day! I know that by your gracias, I am reborn.

Boney shreve sat groovy day Mariachi B J. Quieres su dinero ahora o en la manana?

te amo
eb
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:36:25 (EDT)
From: Guru Mariachi
Email: None
To: eb
Subject: Mickey's Divinity
Message:
Mi Amore,
Yo tocare el dinero en la manana, gracias!
te amo,
Guru Mariachi
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 17:08:57 (EDT)
From: Robyn
Email: sundogs@hotmail.com
To: Guru Mariachi
Subject: Mickey's Divinity
Message:
Dear Mickey,
Since we saw this post last night I just keep picturing you with the Lollypop kids hair do, as LOTU! To funny and TOTALLY FOXY! (TD, hope you don't mind, that one was to good to forget!)
LOVE you and your divine tooties,
Robyn
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:02:21 (EDT)
From: VP
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: A hole in the fable
Message:
Apparently, maharaji knew who Katie and Peter were because they'd sent a photo in email before they left for California.

Wouldn't the Lord just KNOW who they were-even without a photo? Ya know what I mean?
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 00:12:15 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: VP
Subject: A hole in the fable
Message:
VP,
No, maharaji no longer pretends he can do magic tricks. Truth is, he never could. Without a photo from Katie and Peter, maharaji would have been flagging down every stray schlamazal walking by.
Rick
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 23:13:07 (EDT)
From: Scott T.
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Thanks for the silliness.
Message:
Rick:

Thanks for the levity. All this talk about the Middle East was getting REALLY HEAVY. That story about the moths getting into the light fixtures was a peach. Very 'Casteneda,' as though the Lord of the Universe would lock his keys in the chauffeur driven car, or join AAA. On a deeper level though perhaps His Story means that the larvae are born in the light and have to mature in an intermittent darkness and blinding inferno until they reach their majority when, sightless and disconsolate, they are annihilated. Very poignant. Mickey, we feel your pain man.

-Scott
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 09:20:16 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Thanks for the silliness.
Message:
Levity? You call being given the shock of your life levity? But it's so good to know that Mickey the Pharisee is really El Mariachi and not Guru Maharaji. Whew!
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 11:11:00 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Scott T.
Subject: Thanks for the silliness.
Message:
Damn Scott, you beat me to the punch(line). That the moral to the story is: Find your way INSIDE, my brother, then spontaneously-combust while beating your body against a lightbulb. Man, I missed the entire point, didn't I?
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 12:51:34 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Mike
Subject: Thanks for the silliness.
Message:
Find your way INSIDE, my brother, then spontaneously-combust while beating your body against a lightbulb.

I'll give it a try, Mike. Who knows? By the way, if you're compiling some troubleshooting steps for when you call Jim this weekend, it would help if you knew what his machine's current configuration is. You probably already know this, but just thought I'd mention it.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 13:36:17 (EDT)
From: Mike
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: Jim's PC
Message:
Jerry: Thanks for the reminder. Yeah, that's what I do for a living, now. I'm a network engineer (designer, admin, etc). I mostly build and administer communications-related servers and support the associated workstation apps for a 4,000 user network. So I'm fairly sure we will get thru this one unscathed (phone bill won't be huge...he he he). I'm going to look at his entire config, to see if there are any problems that may not be immediately obvious. Sometimes an apparently unrelated system setting can make the strangest things occur.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 18:27:55 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: K&P Visit -- Rick and Jim
Message:
Rick, sorry I couldn't meet you guys for dinner. I guess I also missed the guru manifestation in Berkeley. Hope to get up to see you sometime.

Jim: On Sunday, Katie, Peter and I had dinner in the very same restaurant that you, Laurie and I had dinner at in San Francisco. I wanted to go elsewhere, but they insisted.

I was surprised to see that the old Basta Pasta has been completely remodeled and has become quite swank since we were there. They even changed the menu and eliminated their famous seafood cannelloni. What has this world come to? But the food was good anyhow, and Peter picked a terrific red wine, and, as much as I tried, I couldn't really scare either of them too much by driving fast up and down those San Francisco hills.

I think I'll get to see those guys again before they head back to the Midwest.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:00:45 (EDT)
From: VP
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: JW, tell Katie she is naughty
Message:
Please tell Katie she is very naughty girl to pull such a prank. I mean, tonight there are hundreds of premies who believe that Mickey is the guru. All of the exes are too scared to email Mickey anymore--sheesh!
:)
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 19:43:17 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: JW
Subject: K&P Visit -- Rick and Jim
Message:
Yeah? Same waiter and table too, no doubt. I went back the next day to find my wallet (I thought you'd taken it, actually) and the guy said you've been bringing your ex friends around for years now. Same routine, you sit over there, they sit around you. A little wine and then -- here's what's got me a little concerned -- a picture!

Joe, what ARE those pictures for? Or should I say WHO are they for? How many do you have and, come to think of it, what proof do any of us have that you ever did resign from EV? Come to think of it, when we went up to Capitol Hill (?) after dinner there were all sorts of people with cameras there too. Coincidence? Maybe. But then explain this: the next day, as we drifted around town, everywhere we went -- cameras. And not a single one BLATANTLY pointed at us, just KIND OF, you know? Everywhere!

So what's happening, Joe? Naw, never mind. I'm sure it's all too late anyway. Might as well just go for the ride.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 20:52:12 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Rick (& Mickey?)
Subject: Own up Mickey...
Message:
Thanks Rick,

That was the funniest thing on the forum since I don't know when. Unfortunately I have the same problem as Scott (see above thread) and can't read the post where you might or might not let the cat out of the bag.

Anyway, here's my theory:

From what I imagine I know about all of you, Katie would not have have spun this yarn about Mickey without his own consent, which either he gave, or otherwise there was actually all four of you sat together in that restaurant plotting ways to wind-up the rest of us. Or maybe you invented the whole thing later - who knows?

But it was the way you told the story, Rick. I have to admit that for about two seconds, when the fat fraud pulled up and the car window came down, I experienced that old familiar buzz of the first hand darshan story . I guess the poison runs deep, still.

And the moth riddle was almost too perfect. Wonderful.

Thanks.
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Date: Thurs, Aug 27, 1998 at 22:00:41 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: Rick
Subject: Own up Mickey... yes, thanks!
Message:
That was so good. I picture our movie getting better and better.

That story reminds me of a scene from some movie along the lines of Clerks where people are hanging around talking about other people they know or knew. I can just see the 3 of you and Katie telling this story.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 07:29:34 (EDT)
From: Brian
Email: brian@ex-premie.org
To: Everyone
Subject: Uh... HUH??
Message:
Marisha Monelli (monelli@hotmail.com) managed to take up 2 parking spots with this 'Ad' entry:

LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE NET, IT'S JUST A SCREWED UP PARKING LOT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO TO VENT THEIR STUPIDITY. LIFE IS A GIFT, WHY WASTE IT ON MEAGRE RUBBISH!

She then made a sharp right turn to the Feedback form, and side-swiped herself:

SENT A MAIL, BUT SENT THIS TO YOU WRONGLY, VERY SORRY. WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR THOSE IDIOTS WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO BUT VISIT THESE SITES! IT LOOKS LIKE I MYSELF AM ONE OF THEM, BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO POINT THIS OUT!!!! LOVE ALWAYS

Marisha honey, don't drive with your foot on the Caps Lock key. People think that you're shouting. The 'car' analogy would be racing your engine, but there is apparently nothing under your hood. Love Always.
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Date: Wed, Aug 26, 1998 at 15:50:10 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: Brian
Subject: Uh... HUH??
Message:
Brian I *almost* envy you. You must receive so many bizarre
emails! It would make for one hell of a journal type book.
This stuff is good material! Do something with it if you can.
I would love to have a collection. Not that the public premie
posts here aren't good material as well.
Someday I am going to get off my butt and really start to write
about this - if people are ok about that.
It's kind of a pipe dream of mine. But I do tend to act on things
that really persist in keeping my attention.
funny stuff. Thanks.
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