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funny you should ask
that. in my freshman semester at college I fell in
with the gay lib radical students. they were the
only intelligent friends i could find. i don't do
'normal'.
when they held their coming out formal dance on
campus in the castle-like student union, one
cynical queen commented that i didnt have the balls
to coto it in drag. so i did. I borrowed a tailcoat
from a music school keyboard major, patent leather
band shoes from another, flattened my chest with an
old crotchless girdle, and spent a careful hour
tanning my face, mascara fluffing out my eyebrows,
created a fice oclock shadow with a carpenter
pencil rubbed acrss sandpaper and gently blotting
the paper to my chin, jaw and upper lip to glint in
the low lights, and oiled my hair into a ronald
reagan pompadour. a cummerbun of paisley silk
scarf, a bow tie,, tuxedo pants, and a grand floor
length , hooded wool cape unfurling in the breeze
as i strode across campus stopped traffic and left
bystanders staring.i made the Entrance of the
Evening. I threw the huge oaken doors wide so they
boomed against the walls, and swept the crowd with
my penetrating gaze from the top of the stairs. No
one knew who i was. I descended slowly, taking in
every face, cruising each one shamelessly as i
passed or approached.
I moved thru the foyer silently, bristling with
mystery and charisma, hunting, searching,
intent.
at the end of the hall i found the Queen of the
community--holding court on a bench, surrounded by
fawning onlookers, was the one I wanted to upstage.
He/she was gowned in red velvet like queen
elizabeth herself, with a ruff and a headdress and
opera makeup. Sweeping up to her in best european
style, bowing, taking her gloved hand and kissing
it, raising one intriguing eyebrow and turning
smartly on my heel, I offered her my arm and
gestured to the grand ballroom. She rose and fanned
her bosom, thrilled but perplexed, and accepted my
elbow. I threw my cape back behind my shoulders
arrogantly and proceeded to begin the processional
that formally opened the festivities. Everyone
milling about the lobby and vestibule fell in step
behind us in pairs and we all marched gracefuly in
measured pace, once around the ballroom, until
everyone was in. At the conclusion of the grand
processional, everyone turned to the center and
bowed, and then broke into uproarious applause. I
turned tomy grand madame and bowed again and just
as mysteriously as i had entered, I winked and
slipped away out to the entry again.
there i found my dorm friends who had issued the
dare. their jaws hit the floor when they realized
it was me. I completely broke the spell when i
spoke, at long last. the one who had dared me,
raised his voice so as to be heard by all and
announced 'why JANET--i DIDN'T THINK YOU'D MAKE IT'
. several men behind him gasped and pressed closer
to be sure, then exclaimed to each other 'oh my
god--it's a woman! and i was cruising, hoping to
take him home! oh!'
I turned around to meet my double--a violin
pretege i had heard about from my friends--dressed
exxactly like me. we broke out laughing, did a
mirror mime for fun, and promptly joined arms and
decided we were each other's date for the nonce. It
was safer than getting rejected all night by people
we didnt know!
i shoulda bet money. I coulda cleaned up.
but the orgy was a different night, a different
party, and I was simply wandering thru the house.
it was a coed party, so i'd mill around with the
lesbians i knew in the kitchen awhile, then go into
the livingroom and dance with the guys, then
outside on the patio, then stand in the doorway of
the orgy room awhile and take it all in.
i knew justabout everyone there.
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