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Dear Marianne,
Since it was I who first expressed no sympathy
for the devil under the thread 'Sampuranand,' I
want to respond.
First, I have no sympathy whatsoever for Rawat,
regardless of what happens in his life. How could
I? I've never done what he has done; I've never
pretended to be the Lord of the Universe. I only
bought into his evil plan to use and use and use
his followers more than I ever dreamt possible. I
have come to know that maharaji is dangerous and
evil.
My devotion to him was real in my heart, mind,
and soul, and maharaji proved to be a thief of my
heart and soul and spirituality, as well as my
emotional health, my physical health which affects
me to this day. Now, I don't even know what a soul
is or if such a thing exists. I slaved for him with
the reward being nothing but more demands, plus the
''love of the lord.'' He told me that ultimate lie.
Maharaji had no sympathy for me when I collapsed
after a year of slaving for him at DECA; he,
through his minions threw me away to fend for
myself--there was no real protection in the ashram,
although he said the ashrams were his hospitals,
his houses, the place where ''true refuge could be
found.''
Now that devotion is called gratitude, I feel
hurt to the marrow that maharaji has never once
said to me ''Thank you for all your help and hard
work and sacrifice.'' No sympathy for him from me.
Ever. Perhaps I have developed a hard, unbreakable
hull around my figurative heart in order to protect
myself from his betrayal. That crusty hull is
reserved for Maharaji, fake Lord of the Universe,
who betrayed me beyond my wildest conception of
betrayal. I am learning what real human love is now
that I am free of his bondage.
Now that I see through his lies, now that I have
proof of his lies, I know that those premies who
come here to be distruptive, insulting, and cruel
are caught in that lie. They cannot have compassion
for us, that, in cult programed minds would be a
betrayal of maharaji. Premies are trained to be
like their master, but beneath him.. Those who have
come here emulate his behavior: cruel, manipulating
and ignorant. They can't understand the cult
exiting process, the losses we suffered because of
our involvement with that charlatan because they
are still caught in the web of his deception. I
don't excuse it, I understand it though. But I
don't excuse it.
Why premies feel so desparate to protect
maharaji is the last gasp of holding onto a fake
God, years of brainwashing. Yet, in the past year,
some of these people have done great damage to you
and others here by using their various evil devices
(CAC, hacking, etc.) not only to discredit, but to
personally harm you. I have no sympathy for the
likes of these deluded indivuals. I have empathy
for those who read this forum and EPO, then one by
one come here, afraid to post their names because
of that intense cult indoctrination, yet take that
leap, not of faith, but of the desire to rid
themselves of that thick layer of cult
brainwashing. They find relief in the welcoming.
The layer of deceit begins to unwrap for these new
exes, as well as those of us who have been here a
while, exposing raw grief. For these people I feel
great sympathy and empathy.
My understanding of the brainwashing by maharaji
of premies is very clear, and yet, there is no
excuse for the bad behavior and horrid words posted
here in defense of a cult leader who has an
extraordinary ability to lie, cheat, steal, and
abuse those same followers who support his life's
goal. That life's goal is not to be kind,
nurturing, humanitarian, or even to reveal the
''Truth,'' rather it is to run a cult family
business, using other people's money, people who
love him above all else, to fill his personal
coffers with a massive amount of cash, and
things--expensive things, while he dupes his
followers into being so afraid of him they can't
even muster the courage to ask him a question--he
denies them even that. Sympathy for maharaji?
Never.
I'm not so good at expressing myself in words
here. I look to find a word that describes what
Maharaji has done to me personally, to all the
ex-premies who have come here to find relief and
understanding, and the thousands of premies who
have given so much more than he could ever deserve.
I cannot find a proper word for what he has
done.
Maharaji lost a close friend. I wonder if he has
the capacity to feel grief and loss. I don't think
so. I suspect he is thinking only about himself and
what he lost in Sampuranand as another cultist who
protected him and advised him about how to further
exploit his devotees.
Love,
Cynthia
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