Date: Thurs, Nov 19, 1998 at 09:35:26 (EST)
Subject: el.org Submission Guidelines
The Elkies' Submission Guidelines
Having studied carefully the full range of censored material
from the 'Lives with Knowledge' submissions we posted down
below (and from others we still have on file), we are now in
a position to draw some definite conclusions about the
censorship policy at Enjoyinglife.org.
Unless they now start publishing stuff that might prove
otherwise, here are the unofficial submission guidelines for
(And in the event of forthcoming job vacancies at 'El.com',
any aspiring editor would do well to brush up on these
before the interview.)
- YOU MAY speak of finding peace
- YOU MUST NOT mention Guru
Maharaj ji's so-called 'Great Declaration' that he would
'establish peace on earth in [his]
- YOU MAY say that 'knowledge'
satisfies an inner need that religions cannot
BUT NOT refer to the practice of
'knowledge' as a spiritual path.
OR remind people that Guru Maharaj ji once claimed to be
the Lord incarnate.
- YOU MAY say that Guru Maharaj
ji wants to make 'knowledge' available to anybody who
YOU MAY NOT mention Guru
Maharaj ji's promise to reveal 'knowledge' to the whole
- YOU MAY speak of
BUT NOT of 'devotion'
- YOU MAY mention
BUT NOT 'service'
- YOU MAY state that Guru Mahara
ji doesn't ask for a penny from his followers
YOU MAY NOT hint at the hidden
costs and sacrifices that participation has involved in
your own case (unless you have no regrets)
- YOU MIGHT be able to talk about
'surrendering the reins of your life'.
OR YOU MIGHT NOT be able to talk
about 'surrendering the reins of your life'
- YOU MAY thank Gumar Maroo ji
for the good fortune that has followed in you life since
you received 'knowledge'
BUT DON'T YOU DARE blame him
for anything that has gone wrong
- YOU MUST NOT mention Guru
Maharaj ji's physical appearance
ESPECIALLY the fact that he was once said to inhabit a
- YOU MUST NOT mention
UNLESS you call it 'time with the
- YOU MAY talk about other
spiritual paths / trips / cosmic experiences you have
YOU MUST NOT suggest that any of
them are equally valid/invalid as Guru Maharaj ji's
'knowledge', or that other spiritual leaders can offer
the same experience (or lack thereof)
- YOU MAY say
YOU MAY NOT say 'Millenium
- YOU MAY mention the 'excesses'
of the old days (albeit in vague terms)
AND YOU MAY even blame the premies for their misguided
BUT ON NO ACCOUNT can you even hint
that the man in charge might have had anything to do with
- THOU SHALT NOT use the word
BUT NEITHER SHALT THOU hint that Guru Maharaj ji is less
than perfect (ie., by criticising, however
- THOU SHALT NOT mention Guru
Mahara ji's fabulous personal wealth, lifestyle or gross
- YOU MAY mention music at
BUT NOT the devotional songs
AND ESPECIALLY NOT Guru Maharaj ji's semi-naked
- YOU MAY NOT mention
(Finally, few more that we haven't actually tested, but
we can safely assume are banned, since they are never
mentioned in the, er, 'real' premie's lives.)
- YOU MAY NOT mention: Mata ji,
Bal Bagwan ji, Bob Mishler, alcohol, hash, mistresses,
mala, holy breath, flute or Krishna Crown - or send the
full lyrics of Arti to the 'Expressions'
It would, of course, be easy enough for El.org to prove
us wrong in these assumptions - or for others, premie or ex,
to put them to the test. Bruce: if your submission survived
uncensored, your Knowledge-lite conditioning must have
become second nature to you - you star pupil.