Journeys: Boris

Date: August 28, 1997

The date was december 1972. I was 18 and had been working and saving all the previous summer. I had 1500$ Canadian (which then was worth a little more than 1500$ US) in my bank account. The place was Montréal. The Mahatma was Fakiranand. The guy who, I was told, was later sent back to India after he beat-up a guy with a hammer for throwing a cream pie onto the guru’s face. He had a reputation for hardcore devotion. He asked all of us aspirants if we were willing to devote ourselves to our guru. Of course. We were there to be initiated. He then asked us how much we had in our bank account and to bring a check for the same amount if we wanted to receive k the next day. I did as everyone else in that k session. Maybe the Mahatma had streched the rules a little just this once. I thought I was told receiving knowledge was to be free.


It was in 1974. Guru Maharaj-ji had married and a family feud had followed. Suzan Butcher who, until then had been Canada’s DLM director was said to be in India with Mata-ji and the rest of the holy family. «Suzan, you are a butch» was her favorite Mata-ji quote. I was living in Montreal’s ashram. Everyone had left for New-Brunzwick (or was it Nova-Scotia) where Raja-ji was having a program on that three days week-end in September. I stayed behind, I had some service to do.

C... and S..., two « sisters » from Toronto popped-up. They had left their jobs and moved to Ottawa where they had rented a house and getting it ready to receive Mata-ji. I gave-in, sent a letter to my boss and took-off with them. It wasn’t long before we received a visit from a mahatma. He had been sent directly by the Guru to ask us to renounce our project. We agreed. Mata-ji was to fly two weeks from then. C... and S... moved to Toronto’s ashram while I did move into Ottawa’s ashram. To this day, C… does not want to discuss the incident. The landlord did not like it a bit. I hope he forgot about it since.


The last time I saw Guru Ji, it was in May 1996 when he came to town. It is not that I am especially fond of the chap. It rather is that Judith who still is a devotee after all these years and lives in Toronto came to Montréal for the program. She called and invited me to join her for dinner. How could I resist an invitation from the "housemother" I once was madly in love with. Once, I must insist. The darn woman had even better looks at 43 that she had at 23.

If there was such a thing to be called "spirituality", I then thought, it must aim at having me fully occupy my shoes (be in contact with oneself, appreciating one's worth, know one's own values and stand by it, listen to one's heart, know one's self, being sensitive to the invisible and all these sort of things). From this point of view the rip-off may be subtle, yet well orchestrated. We must be in contact with "this most beautiful place inside", invest where it really counts and tutti-quanti, it remains that Guru Ji is promoting his own ideology in the process. I understood on that day the contributing premies were too much alike each other not to be suspect. A useful spirituality isn't one. While at it, what is Guru Ji's ideology?

  • - Personality cult (me master, you disciple, pranam, agya, holy breath, holy lotus feet of the master, Charanand rit, lila, Krishna outfit ad nauseum).
  • - Saint-Kabir, new-age, oriental religious culture, arti, holy feet-water, devotion.
  • - An apparently spontaneous way of speaking that ends up so difficult to follow that one has to stop being critical.
  • - Technology at the service of spirituality as an excuse to play with expensive toys (airplanes, computers, luxury cars, and synthesisers).
  • - "Let me continue my own Guru's quest - give me your dough.
  • - I may not say this clearly, but I let you subtly understand I am of divine nature". (guru gives grace, he talks about himself at the third person, "I worship the guru", "I am the guru", "guru, the father, the devotee and the holy-name", "I want to serve the cause my father initiated" and so on).
  • - Be detached from worldly possessions. I did not believe when he added one's family is not as important as the spiritual experience since at the moment of death, family is bound to stay behind. He immediately excused himself saying, "Don't get all huffing and puffing now." I came to wish the National Enquirer would photograph him his pants down with money sticking out of his holy hole.

If she exists, God should do something about the chap. I got the thing and offer it to you for free. Enjoy it - and you may not use it very long without joining the cult. He even mentioned about the following program in Miami.


Lately, through this site, I came in contact with a lad who wanted to improve his chances to seduce a premie he has a crush for. I gathered for him the below lexicon and advised him to use it to impress her. The poor guy needed help to make sense of her queer behaviour and language. I’m posting it here hoping I’d be useful to more of us, premies included.

To be confused: She probably agrees with a dualistic interpretation of herself. On one hand there’s her limpid soul, spirituality gives her access to and on the other, mind and illusion. To be confused, is to be « into one’s mind », to lose focus from « this most beautiful place inside », this crystal boulder where calm and solitary her soul is resting. Try this one, you’ll be glad you did. 25 points easily scored.

To be into one’s mind: To think, to exist for oneself, outside the dogmatic mindscape. To consort with the devil.

Illusion: Interesting concept invented either by Buddha or by Buddhists, which consist to recognise as real only what is eternal and immutable. Everything that has a beginning or/and an end is but an illusion: life itself, a love relationship, motherhood, money (especially money used to finance her trips around the world where she meets her guru), her job. Premies are fond of fables. Their guru has used them to it. Tell her the story of Buddha, a young prince who lived a long time ago a protected life in his castle. One day, he came out and met the three messengers of wisdom: disease, old age and death. He realised the futility of illusion and dove into a state of deep meditation. When he came out of it, seven years later, he had reached Nirvana. Now the recipe is this: though you know all this is illusion, your soul is attracted to hers. Bingo, she won’t resist this one. 75 points.

Not to listen to the inner voice (or « not to listen to the divine voice within »): The sin only practice of knowledge could protect against.

To be in contact with…: Universal formula that justifies the best and the worse. Baptist have a delicious formula for this that have them pretend « the devil made me do it. »

Concepts: Obstacles to a completely harmonious life. Push this a little and intellectuals and scientists are out to lunch.

You are a beautiful person inside: Sure bet. « My interest for you is of the noblest nature. I love you for spiritual reasons. » A proved technique to have girls fall into your arms. Many teenagers wouldn’t exist without it. 35 points.

To be detached: A dignified goal to aim at since everything except - the guru – is illusion. Bonus points if you pretend the numerous letdowns she laid on you lately had you grow into understanding you were attached to her. From then on, you’re playing « run after me and I’ll catch you. »

Karma: Good shots, bad shots, destiny, the idea that states every action provokes a reaction, consequences from past lifetimes.

Having faith: Since fear seem to keep her from letting herself indulge into having a relationship with you (details deleted), call upon her faith into Guru Maharaj-ji’s grace (Maharaj they call him nowadays) and she’ll be impressed. In your case an understatement would be advised. I suggest you tell her about her faith into her good star. This would dodge her suspicion.

Saint Kabir: A spiritual writer from antique India her Guru cites regularly. Quite somniferous. You’d get scores just as high by asking her where you could find a copy of his texts. She’ll probably get it for you for Christmas in which case, you’ll have another chance to… never mind.

Death: An illusion, a passage towards a better life, a liberation, the right moment to think of the guru and be in contact with the crystal boulder where calm and solitary her soul is resting.

Body: An illusion, a carnal envelope, a tool, a vehicle and sometimes an obstacle, soul’s reflection.

Sex: An illusion which could be transcendent if souls are in contact with each other. A condom still wouldn’t keep her soul from getting to yours.

Truth: Dogma, soul, knowledge.


My favorite Bertrand Russell Quote: « I wish to propose for the reader’s favourable consideration a doctrine which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true. »

From « Introduction: On the Value of Scepticism », Sceptical Essays
[London: Allen & Unwin, 1928])
Bertand Russell (1872-1970)

My favorite Bertrand Russell sites:

The Bertrand Russell society

The Bertrand Russell Archives at McMaster University

My favorite Bertrand Russell writing about faith and religion:

Am I an Atheist or an Agnostic?
A Plea for Tolerance in the Face of New Dogmas (1947)

A Free Man’s Worship (1903)

Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization? (1930)

What Is an Agnostic? (1953)

Why I Am Not A Christian (1927)

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