|Journeys: D. W. Greig|
|Date: November 26, 1997|
|I haven't been involved with DLM since the early '70's, or even given it much of a thought until now, having "searched"
Guru Maharaji on the internet.
At the time of my first awareness of DLM, I was strung out on speed and walking down Madison Avenue in Toronto. There was a very attractive girl handing out leaflets and I took one and in the hopes of meeting her again (my weakness for women and the prospect of physical and emotional love figure prominently in my whole mystical experience with the DLM), went to the house (Ashram) listed on the cover. Satsang was good. The devotees were good. The cause (enlightenment) was good. Being a speed freak was bad. I was totally fucked up.
There was a programme the next evening at Jarvis Collegiate where a really nice and erudite Mahatma was speaking of Knowledge. He was an older gentleman; his enthusiasim and presence on the stage as well as his message captivated me. He was really devoted.
I received K a few days later after an all day session without food or break. Totally brainwashed! It was cool. I had new found friends with a common thread among us. I never did speed again. I stopped smoking, cut my hair, ate nothing but tofu. I was a classic case of total mind, body and soul deprivation. I t was cool.
Living in the Ashram was great! I developed a lot of insight into my new found spirituality. Meditation was not that awe-inspiring, it was mostly sleeping sitting up. I was the most selfless and devoted premmie you would ever meet - but horny. I used to meditate for women, and sure enough, the Guru would supply me with women, in the Ashram and out. It was too much! I flung myself into devotion and selflessness and sampled my Sisters with devotional abandonment.
Mahatmas would come and go through Toronto. Then Mata Ji came to town. She was great too. I booked the flight to India on the Jumbo Jets. By the time I had left New York, I was down to $15.00, the rest having been cajoled out of me by DLM operatives. So I arrived in Delhi with $15.00 to my name. We were there for about a month and I was able to buy presents for my whole family with that $15.00.
India was great! I became a fascist. I joined the World Peace Corps. I was one of GM's security guards. I manned the gates (of heaven?) at the Hardwar Ashram. I guarded the stairs up to his personal dwelling on the roof of the Ashram. It was amazing! People would come to me begging to go upstairs to see GM, but I wouldn't let them go. Only the chicks! I would let the chicks go and watch them walk up the stairs to GM's digs. The sisters didn't wear underwear.
I was totally out of control. Guru Maharaji was operating me. I was just a shell. It was like I, me was not there. Actually, I was there, but only watching. I was watching I, but I was being run by the Guru. We used to build fires at night outside the compound, and roast potatoes in the hot sand. I found a rope and hung it in a tree by the Ganges so that you could swing way out and jump or dive into the river, and then float down stream to the town. I used to brush my teeth in the river. It was no wonder I ended up with dysentry.
GM filled me with awe. His presence had the power of an electrical current. HE WAS GOD! He was God because I wanted him to be God. Everything that happened, revolved around Him and His will. It was a cult of "Wishing (meditating) made it so" It was remarkable and Miraculous, I was in heaven!
We had a circus. A bunch of premmies fashioned animal costumes from bits and pieces of material found around the Ashram. I fashioned a gorrilla outfit from coconut husks sewn to my jeans and shirt. When the circus began, we were performing for Mata Ji, I rushed out into the audience and picked up a sister over my shoulder and ran around with her kicking and screaming, just as if I were a real gorrilla and she were really frightened. Mata Ji loved it and beckoned me to her throne. I went there as a gorrilla but as I approached I suddenly fell to the floor in prostration. Even Mata Ji was divine, the whole family was divine.
We went back to our respective homes on the Jumbos. While I was involved with DLM, I attended much Darshan in very many places, including: India, London, New England, Chicago and Detroit. My journey through Michigan took me to a commune (but that's another story). I met and enjoyed sexually many women compliments of GM or so I thought (I knew we were supposed to be celibate but I was weak and the sisters were hot-to-trot, there's nothing like a stint of abstinance to get the juices flowing).
Finally, I met a sister, Janice from London, England, who stole my heart away. I couldn't get enough of her. I went to London and Chicago with her. She and I visited her ex-squeeze at the mental hospital in Toronto, he too was a premmie and it seemed that she befriended a whole lot of male premmies in her travels, leaving a wake of broken hearts in her path. I was just the next. I was deviststed when she went off with another premmie. (Apparently she also broke the heart of the infamous Milko or Milky, one of the DVM movers and shakers from London, possibly one of the brains of the organization). I quit DLM shortly after that, having been involved for a couple of years.
This is the first thought of or contact with anything resembling DLM since then. I have no regrets! I chalk it all up as experience. I think that if you believe in anything with your whole being, and devote your whole waking and sleeping existance to that belief, it will become real and that will become your realization. So Guru Mahara Ji became the focus of thousands of perhaps fringe or emotionally challenged people who used him for their own personal God. His handlers used him to acquire great wealth. And the Guru used us for his personal gain. Unfortunately, some people may have been hurt, but take heart, were still hanging in there.
Leave message if this reminiscence strikes a chord
Update - April 2, 2004
Hey! It's me again. 30 years since I was a Premmie in Toronto. Life's been good. I have a most dear and loving wife, one boy, 3 girls, 1 dog and 3 birds. Everybody's healthy (I just touched wood).
Reading some of the comments from disaffected DLM groupies has reminded me of some more experiences enjoyed on various road trips for darshan.
One memorable tip was to Chicago (1972?) for darshan with Mata Ji. I recall her staying at a hotel called, "The Heart of Chicago", which to us devotees was oh so appropos.
I was with my squeeze at that time, Janice Cook, a devottee(?) from London who apparently was quite familiar with some of the European movers and shakers of the DLM, most notably, Milky Cole.
I met Janice in Toronto; she was one of a string of sisters with whom GM provided me to fulfill the lust and desire commensurate with the cyclical bouts of sexual abstinence that inevitably led to an insatiable horniness. I fondly remember one instance at our flat near the Toronto ashram. Janice was standing with one leg up on the bathtub, ready to climb in, and as I passed by, I entered her very nicely and we finished off in that pose ... .
But I digress. So here we were in Chicago, in a large hall, where the massed premmies ate and slept while we awaited our darshan with Mata Ji.
To amuse ourselves, we played games and "stayed on the word". I had a watergun with which I was squirting the sisters and I remember one particular sister being annoyed and threatening me with, "GM's going to get you for this".
I recall it being a sunny day, perhaps with scattered sun-showers. A few of us went out for a drive to see the sights of Chicago and I was sitting in the back seat next to an open window 'cause the weather was beauty. The next thing I know, as we were driving along, a car approached from the opposite direction, passing through the only puddle on the road and dumps a wall of water on me through the open window, soaking me to the skin.
Well, as they say, the lord works in mysterious ways, and it was quite a co-incidence and we were screaming and laughing and knowing that we were the victim of GM's lila.
The darshan was nice with Mata Ji. At one point during the programme, someone stood up and wailed away on a trumpet that went on and on, seemingly at Mata Ji's tacit will. It was a good time had by all.
I'm a confirmed atheist; however, I believe in an energy that sustains the universe by means of physical and natural laws. This is not an anthropomorphic energy; it has no human characteristics. It is neither jealous nor tyranical; it is benign and destructive; it is non-judgemental; it requires neither me nor I it; it is amoral; IT IS!!!
GM may or may not be the Lord of the Universe. It matters not; it's all in what you choose to believe. Of my time with DLM, I chose to believe in GM's providence which in fact proved to be all-sustaining. At times I was unemployed and the DLM provided me with sustenance. At times I was libidinous and the DLM provided me with an outlet for my sexual anxiousness. It was and is a perfect world.
From reading about some other persons' experience with the DLM, I get the impression their expectations outreached their needs and their dependance on GM became a millstone.
GM's OK in my books. He's just a guy that enjoys the finer things in life and you whiners (if I can be so blunt) helped sustain him in his depravity.
I was hurt when Janice moved on to her next conquest, but as it turned out, it provided me with the opportunity to move on to my next stage of life, and here I am, 30 years later. (You can read of my exploits on the Jumbos to India in a previous posting).