Soul
Rush (Excerpts) by S. Collier.
Published in 1978
The Odyssey
of a Young Woman in the 70s'
Preface
Next Chapter
Chapter 9:
Initiation to Knowledge
PREMIES HAD BEEN COMING INTO THE GOOD DAY MARKET
FOR
several months, trying to get us to stock their
magazine, . . . And It Is Divine. Each time they came
in, we, always ecumenical and easygoing, politely
refused, telling them it wasn't our purpose to carry
religious, political, or spiritual writing.
"We just want to sell good, cheap food here," I would
say, and invite them to have a cup of our special
cinnamon grog. Usually they would stay and talk about
their nonphilosophy and nonpolitics.
"To change the world," they said, "you have to change
the hearts of the people in the world. As long as
there is anger and hatred inside people, there will
always be war and murder."
This idea had struck a sympathetic chord in me all
along. It paralleled my own social philosophy. When I
was doing yippie acts, I felt the aim of my antics was
to create Zen-type situations in which people's calm
acceptance of the status quo would be shattered, and
they would be able to see things in a new way. And
now, with my growing concentration on my own spiritual
nature, I was open to hearing about personal as well
as societal benefits of what a spiritual group might
offer.
"Knowledge (the name of their brand of meditation) is
the only thing which is going to do it for people,"
they would insist emphatically. Since I had already
been practicing meditation, I knew of the profound
effects it could have on me. But the only way? That
was something out of a pentecostal reader. My
ecumenical sensibilities could not accept it.
"Can we leave a magazine with you?"
"Sure," I said, and stashed it in the box with the
Socialist Worker another enthusiast had left.
In the past few months I had been too busy to consider
doing anything other than my work with
Portland-America Contracting and the Market. Just
looking after these two projects, I was almost too
busy to do my own laundry. But now I had time on my
hands. I had put aside an indeterminate period to
think about my spiritual life, to read about other
people's experiences and revelations, and to meditate,
so that I would have some revelations of my own.
This time I did not want to follow the solitary
Do-It-Yourself approach exclusively. Even though I'd
gotten good results from Revelation 101, I felt I was
missing out on the social potential of my spiritual
experiences. The insights I was gaining through
meditation would be most valuable when I was able to
translate them into enlightened actions. To help me
attain this goal, I wanted to work with other people
who shared this interest. I decided that if I could
find a spiritual group that I liked, I would join
it.
Spiritual organizations were very un-chic in my circle
of friends. All of them agreed it was good to embrace
higher values-to be loving, open, and forgiving-but
the spiritual discipline so many groups followed
seemed hopelessly rigid and incompatible with my
friends' flowing "live and let live" way of life. My
Portland pals sensed an inherent danger in joining a
consciousness-raising group. Every group, they
reasoned, has some philosophy, no matter how informal.
When you join, you take this philosophy for your own.
You make a statement about what truth is. Then, when
you think you've found the truth, you start to crusade
for it. Even the tiniest amount of crusaderness would
have ruined my friends' life-style.
I was aware of this danger, but I didn't think we all
had to follow the progression in Dylan's lyric, "I
started out on burgundy but soon I hit the harder
stuff." Just as all marihuana users didn't go on to
heroin, I believed I could get the benefits of
communal spirituality without falling prey to the
perils.
My quiet decision to join a spiritual group was very
much like someone's decision to buy season tickets to
the opera for the first time. Certainly, without
risking any danger of a bad performance, you could buy
a stereo system and the finest recordings of the
pieces you would hear on this year's opera program,
but it certainly wouldn't be the same. There is
something about being there live with all the
musicians and other opera fans that makes the
experience more beautiful than the one you would have
alone.
This increased sympathy toward organized spirituality
first made me begin to pick up Tracy's copies of the
Divine Times, a newspaper put out by Divine Light
Mission. In general I found the leader of the
organization, Guru Maharaj Ji, to be a witty and
interesting character. I identified with him. For a
sixteen-year-old spiritually minded entrepreneur like
me, there was an undeniable charm in a
fifteen-year-old guru who drove around in a
Rolls-Royce. He seemed like a marvelous yippie. Even
though I didn't agree with all of his ideas and
concepts, I had to respect him just as I had respected
Abbie Hoffman in his days of outrageousness.
After a month or so of casual perusing, I ran across
an article that said Rennie Davis had joined the
organization. I remembered Rennie from my political
days, so I read the article with great interest. In a
long interview, Rennie described his spiritual
experiences with the "Knowledge," the spiritual path
prescribed by Guru Maharaj Ji. He said that for most
of his life he had believed that Marx was right in
asserting that the situations people face in society
are the causes of the ideas they have. Now, after
spending a few months with Maharaj Ji in India, he had
switched into the Hegel Camp, and believed that
actually the ideas people have are what created the
situations.
" 'Religion' comes from the word 'realization,' " he
said, "and I now see that religion is far from 'the
opiate of the people.' Real religion, like Knowledge,
will actually be the People's savior."
He now felt that the work of the peace movement, in
which he had labored so long, would not bring any
societywide changes. Instead, he "envisioned a
spiritual movement with the aim of raising the
collective consciousness of the nation as the first
step toward any other meaningful change."
Although this idea was not really new to me, when I
read it in Tracy's newspaper it seemed to click. Maybe
Divine Light Mission could help me with both my
personal spiritual aspirations and my hopes for the
world.
Of course I wasn't completely sure. The Divine Light
Mission was a mixed bag. Some of the premies who came
into the Good Day Market seemed to be nothing more
than local "bongos," so "high" that they were tripping
over their feet. And then there was that name-"Divine
Light Mission." Can you imagine naming anything that?
It was awful, a real embarrassment. It sounded like
the sort of thing you might see while driving through
the Deep South on a small tar road. There would be a
little white clapboard church building with an old
sign out front: "First Church of the Divine Light
Mission." And then about another ten miles later,
there would be a "Second Church of the Divine Light
Mission," but you'd never see another anywhere.
Putting these prejudices aside, I decided to go to New
York and visit the offices of Divine Light Mission
there. I wanted to find out more; to meet other people
in the DLM and learn what, if anything, their brand of
meditation had to offer me.
When I arrived, I was greeted by a pile of shoes and
coats at the door of the old church where DLM had its
home in the Big Apple. Through a curtain, I heard some
people talking. I entered quietly and joined a small
circle of people reclining on the floor around a very
fat American in an overstuffed chair. Pointing a fat
finger at a hippie-looking young man, he said, "Your
ego is in your hair."
He paused dramatically after this revelation and then
continued, "I asked you if you would cut that hair of
yours for this Knowledge, and you hesitate. Obviously,
you do not value your spiritual life very much. Hair
grows back, but spiritual wisdom is forever. Think
about this." He stared intensely at the embarrassed
hippie for a long time.
"Okay," he concluded, staring, "are there any
questions?"
"Well, what about eating? You are very fat. You must
be very attached to food," a young woman suggested.
This did not faze the fellow in the chair.
"Hahahahahaha." Laughter rolled out of him. With a
wave of the hand, he excused us all. "Come back
tomorrow."
After I left the room where the fat man was seated (I
later learned he was a local devotee), I wandered
around the DLM headquarters and met several other more
reasonably sized and sounding premies. I returned the
next day to see a "mahatma," the title given to the
premies who teach the meditation techniques. Before
the mahatma came, many premies got up and testified to
their experiences with the "Knowledge." While some of
the short talks had the "Now I'm saved, Praise the
Lord" sound about them, others were introspective and
well said. All of them were almost painfully sincere.
In as many ways as people spoke, the message was told:
Knowledge is a simple, easy way to improve yourself
and the world.
Although I was dubious about a balm with such
universal effectiveness, a panacea for all ills, I was
struck by the honesty and sincerity of the people who
testified. If even a small part of what they claimed
was true, as Rennie had said in his interview, "this
is joyous news."
As I tried to decide if I should learn the techniques
of meditation, one young woman's remark tipped the
scales in favor of staying. She said since she had
been meditating, she even enjoyed ironing and doing
dishes. The Guru Vishnu Co-op needs this, I thought,
and filled out the index card that the mahatma was
passing around to the people who wanted to give the
Knowledge a try.
When the cards were collected, the mahatma read off
names and asked about our spiritual goals. The mahatma
was an older Indian man, who spoke with a
characteristic whining accent. Often in his questions
he quoted the scriptures and made large gestures to
emphasize points. From about a hundred names, he
picked out thirty-including me- and told the rest to
keep coming back and listening to more about DLM.
Then, with the others gone, he turned down the lights
and a conspiratorial tone came into his voice.
"You are about to learn the holiest of all secrets,"
he said. "All religions are based on the principle
that the Kingdom of Heaven is within each person; that
each person is part and parcel of God. Every person
can know and realize this. It does not matter where
someone is from, what the sex may be, or what is the
class or creed. Every human being can be intimately
connected to this heavenly kingdom, within himself, if
he has the key to unlock the door. This Knowledge is
the key and you are going to learn it today. Of
course, when you have this key, it is up to you to use
it. The aim of human life is to realize God, and that
takes much effort and work. When I say realize God, I
do not mean to know intellectually, 'Sure, God is
within me,' but instead, to experience it
practically-to feel the love and wisdom of God within
oneself, with every breath and action.
"Guru Maharaj Ji has the divine mission of taking this
Knowledge to all people. By learning these techniques
today, a bond of love and commitment is made between
you and Maharaj Ji. By taking this Knowledge you
become disciples, and you must follow his counsel to
the letter if you want to progress and realize union
with the God inside of you in this lifetime."
After this introduction, the mahatma asked for
questions. "Why the intense reverence of the guru?" an
older woman wanted to know. "I saw people bowing
before his picture; surely you can follow this
spiritual path without doing this."
"Oh, sister," the mahatma said, "to me Guru Maharaj Ji
is my divine father. I love him more than the whole
world. He has taken me from the darkness of illusion
and moved me into a world of light. To me, he is the
Lord himself standing on the earth. I melt in the love
he has shown me. I bow to hide my face before him. Of
course, in the Bible it is written, 'By his fruits you
shall know him.' Take this Knowledge and discover if
Guru Maharaj Ji will mean as much to you as he means
to me. For a Western person, this is hard to
understand. You are so proud. But look at it this way.
If you have a dollar bill in your pocket and it falls
out, you will bow and bend to pick it up. Even for a
penny you will stoop. So for this supreme Knowledge of
God, should you not do as much as you would for a
penny?"
All of this heavy religious talk was surprisingly easy
for me to translate into my secular idiom. I heard the
mahatma saying: "Take this meditation and practice it.
If you like it, take the guru too. Go along with him
as long as he helps you. And if there comes a point
where he no longer helps you, just leave."
I thought it all sounded very fair.
The meditation techniques were very simple and
effective. When I tried them out with the group, I
felt wonderful calm and joy. There were four
techniques concerned with bringing the practitioner in
contact with certain internal experiences of light,
sound, taste, and "vibration." Three of these
techniques were for formal, or sitting meditation, and
the fourth was for anytime. This last one was
particularly interesting, because you could do it
while you were walking around or riding on the bus or
doing anything else. Because this fourth technique is
such a practical and sensible solution to everyday
stress and strain, I am going to tell you how to do it
here.
Dr. Herbert Benson of the Harvard Medical School wrote
a book called The Relaxation Response, where he
explains that in every person there is a built-in
ability to relax. It is the nervous system's answer to
the "fight or flight" response. In order to bring
about the "relaxation response" Dr. Benson said,
several things are necessary. One of these is an
object on which to concentrate your attention, like a
word or phrase. This is called a mantra. Another thing
is a proper setting, a quiet place in which to repeat
the mantra to yourself.
This is basically the TM approach to meditation. Guru
Maharaj Ji, on the other hand, had an even simpler and
more functional way to bring on the relaxation
response.
Our breath is a naturally built-in mantra, always
flowing within our chests. When you gently turn your
awareness toward the movement of your breath, its
continuous rhythm will have a soothing effect on you.
Beyond being merely soothing, this is also
exhilarating. At the top and bottom of the breath,
there is a little experience of energy surging within
your body. As you concentrate on this little spark, it
gradually becomes more pronounced and invigorating.
Because you are concentrating on your own breathing,
something which is going on within you at all times
anyway, this meditation does not detract from your
experience of other activities. You can still follow
the intrigues of TV crime dramas while you meditate;
the only difference is that you will be in touch with
yourself in the most basic and beautiful way while you
are staring at the tube.
After the mahatma had taught us all four techniques,
he said that the reason for our positive experience
was the connection of grace that was established
between us, the disciples, and Maharaj Ji, the Guru,
in this mystical initiation. We should not teach the
meditation to anyone else, he cautioned. The people we
taught would be spiritual bastards, initiates without
gurus. And furthermore, he added, if we taught the
meditation to anyone else, we would suffer too, if not
in this life, in the hereafter. Undoubtedly we would
be reincarnated as snakes, he said.
To me this seemed like typical Hindu mumbo-jumbo. I
felt that there was good reason to safeguard the first
three techniques of meditation. They were more
advanced and should be learned in a certain setting,
like a Knowledge session, where everything could be
properly explained and all questions answered. But I
thought Indian threats were not a good way to protect
them. Hellfire and brimstone, from whatever culture,
just isn't that scary.
The Divine Light Mission plan for God-realization did
not consist of meditation alone. It had suggestions on
how to approach every aspect of daily life. The first
and most basic part of the prescription was meditation
in doses of an hour in the morning, an hour at night.
Then came service. Service was roughly equivalent to
the Buddhist idea of "right livelihood." Any activity
you did should be spiritually elevating. You should
not engage in any employment you found immoral or that
hampered your spiritual growth. Ideally, everything
you did should be selfless. After service came
satsang. This is a Hindi word that means "the company
of truth," and it generally refers to conversation
about the spiritual realization and experiences of the
conversants. Satsang also is used to refer to meetings
of groups of premies for the purpose of talking over
spiritual subjects on a more formal basis.
All of this comprised a way of looking at life, rather
than any particular doctrine. If people practiced
meditation, service, and satsang, in whatever form
these might take in their life-style, they certainly
would have a beautifully focused spiritual life. And
this was exactly the kind of thing I was looking
for.
As it happened, there were several premies at this
initiation whom I knew from the Good Day Market, and I
was able to catch a ride north with them. All the way
back to Portland, I meditated in the car. At about
three in the morning, I arrived on my steps at
Waterville Street in a state of ecstasy. Immediately I
went upstairs and woke up Tracy, to tell her I had
received Knowledge. She was so happy for me that she
jumped out of bed and kissed me.
Preface
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